How to not get published

So, you want to be an author. You want to see your name on the front of dust-jacketed hardbound tomes, being clutched to the chests of the eager crowd queuing up for a glimpse of your writerly profile and the swirl of your moniker inside the front cover.

Here's how to make sure that doesn't happen.

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Would you send off your manuscript to the printers - not a prospective publisher but the actual place that's going to turn your MS into a real bona fide book - without getting a second set of eyes to proofread it?

Would you then pick a fight on the internet with a reviewer who praised your ability to craft a plot, because they also pointed out that the many errors spoil the reading experience?

Would you allow your contributions to the ensuing online stoush to themselves be riddled with grammatical errors?

One writer would.

For the record, here's one sentence from the book. I hope you can work out what it means, because I genuinely have no idea:

"Don and Katy watched hypnotically Gino place more coffees out at another table with supreme balance."